Calling all Mustard

Hot off the Press.

Taranaki V Wairarapa in Mustardton. 14/15th November

The onslaught of the 09/10 season is about to begin and this calls for the rising of the Mustard. People from all backgrounds are welcome.

Froth, Froth, Froth.

a spot of poetry

It is going into the year two thousand and ten,
All of the mustardos are wondering when,
The beautiful criminal will make her way,
To mustard terrace on a scorching Sunday.

The forthcoming summer is an important one,
All the business on the field needs to be done.
But win or lose, our heart is yours,
Mustardos never lose, because there are whores.

The Landrigan brothers are sure to blister up,
Apparently grunta and the chief are too grownup
For nudity and antics, foreskin aplenty,
The record for funnelling is just over twenty.

‘Stop it you guys, you’re killing yourself’,
Be sure to get the party pill up, over the shelf.
For we don’t care, it’s our special occasion,
Could this be the season for our first Mustard asian?

Perhaps this year Lakey, will keep his mouth shut,
Lets hope we see Falcor, That big ginormous mutt.
Josh Barretts secret is that he’s Van West,
Hodgey, no doubt, will be glued to Ze Best.

For those young hooligans eyeing up a spot,
We dare you to get down and lick Spuds rot,
Or take on our physio in the nude terrace dash,
Or grab Ali Jordan, and give him a pash.

We love to hear stories of the hunt for tail,
So join us after church to chase the Holy Grail.
For we love the Naki, and victories we savour,
Putting Mustard on your hotdog gives it so much more flavour.

The HotDogs and Sauce are ready...it's almost time for MUSTARD

Just a few days from now the Taranaki Hawke Cup Cricket Team will embark on a flight the the Southern Isles where in the wine country of Marlborough, a new journey will begin for Provincial Crickets greatest prize, The Hawke Cup. What will the season bring in terms of star performances, fighting lower order partnerships and last over miracles to take Taranaki and Mustard back to the promised land where the Grail rests for another raid on history.

And what great Mustard moments will 2008-09 bring from the heights of Mustard Terrace, and around the country? Who will earn the title of MVM (Most Valuable Mustard), with imprompteu displays of inspirational sillyness, and downright stamina after a full day of funnels to still be standing in full voice as the last rights are played. Who will be the new Mustard Graduates? The pursuit of the Mustard polo will be a dream come true and a goal realised for some young recruit....

And to the ultimate dream as held by our Mustard founders, will we again be seeing the images of the photo above.......... we can dare to dream..........can't we?

Draw 2008/9 Hawke Cup /Chapple Cup

Hawke Cup Chapple Cup

Round 1- 5/6 December Round 1 – 7 December
Marlborough v Taranaki

Round 2 – 12/13 December Round 2 – 14 December
Taranaki v Wanganui

Round 3 – 30/31 January Round 3 – 1 February
Wairarapa v Taranaki

Round 4 – 6/7 February Round 4 – 8 February
Manawatu v Taranaki

Zone 2 Challenge 14/15/16 February 2009

Chapple Cup Final – 22 February 2009

It Begins

As the summer months draw ever nearer the hibernating beast that is the Mustardos begins to rise again for another summer of dribbling boozer mustard action. The draw hasn't been sighted by this poster yet but hopefully within a few weeks the blog will let mustard followers around the nation knowwhen the mustardos will be knocking on their door asking for a place to stay.

In the meantime check out a highlights reel for some of the mustardos antics from previous seasons in the new video on you tube. Check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RleIAn0VwkE. On a similar note we are seeing the view count for the videos rise so spread the word and lets try get the views into the thousands and spread the gospel of mustard worldwide.

See you at the park and in the pub

Winter Greetings

Hello to all the Mustardo Community

It has been sometime since our last post- The Grunta in Lincoln- and so with Winter on the way out I thought it was time to get into Mustard spirit again. This has come after a number of requests, always good to hear.

Taranaki begins it quest for a Hawke Cup Challenge this summer. This is the ultimate goal, and something that we have experience in achieving. It wasn't long ago when we travelled to Hamilton and took the Cup back to the Mountain. Let's do it all again.

The upcoming summer will also see a festival Twenty20 against an invitational team including ex Black Caps including Astle, Parore and Harris. This will be a 'curtain raiser' to a CD Twenty20- so will be a magical chance to further take Mustard to the world.

We will have a new captain with Broady retiring and so this is a new era for Taranaki cricket. Hopefully Dion will be in the mix- along with all of our favourites- but the squad may have a fresh young look. We embrace it all.

From me, for now, I wish you all the best. Special mention to Speegal and LJ and the arrival of the mini-mustards. Great to hear boys, our best wishes. Summer is approaching fast- lets get among. Want to here requests for mustard songs, mustard banners and mustard activities.

Pass the ze-best would ya!

Cheers,

Chief Mustardo.

Mustardos Go National

Just when we thought the mustard was in the closet for the winter the National Womens side, including Mustardo favourite Aimee Mason, was in need of a bit of support going into the decider of the one day series against Australia in Christchurch, Granta rallied a few new recruits to do what the mustardos do best. All the favourites were present, a whistle, a hula, a boom boom boom and even a stoush with security who tried to tell the boys to be quiet. In a stellar effort NZ reached 249 in thier 50 over but sadly Australia pulled some magic out of their asses and chased it down, hence retaining the Rose Bowl. Highlights though included that usual post match mingling with the players and Granta telling the mustard legend to CEO of New Zealand cricket, Justin Vaughan. And despie not winning the cup the boys schweet talked the schweet autralian 17 year old player into the letting the boys have a quick drink from the bowl. Shinier than the hawke cup but no where near as good looking or tasty. So expect national funding for the mustardos in the next summer.

Hawke Cup Loss

The match we had been waiting for all summer unfortunately resulted in the loss of the Holy Grail. Needless to say, it was a great Mustard weekend- and the year that was will be lost on noone. All the boys followed up the Daily News photo and story with a good turn out and great support.
The Taranaki boys fought hard right until the death on Day 3 but it was not to be. They were a credit to the region and showed the same spirit that had seen them win the Cup a year earlier. Congratulations to Broady, Whoppa and the boys for continually running out and giving it your all.
The Mustardos and Taranaki live on- we will fight another day.

Counting Down...

Spread the Naki and Mustard word to the community. The Grail goes on the line this weekend and we need as many supporters of the Mighty Naki that we can get up on Mustard Terrace. Less than 40 hours until we take to this team who try to call themselves a country.
Such a dirty dirty man. C'mon the Naki Boys! Yeaaa Goody Boy!

Mustardo Profile: Sam Barrett

Birth date: 03/06/1985
When did you become a Mustardo? Original Founding Member February 2006
Who is your favourite Taranaki player? Broady
What is your role in the Mustardos? Chief Mustardo
What is your favourite Mustard track? Wish you were here. Or Zimbabwe.
What is your beverage of choice? Is Zee Best a beverage? Probably Speights. Who was your Hero while you were at school? Glen Sulzberger.
What is your greatest Mustard moment? Being upgraded to the Managers schuite at the backpackers in Hamilton because they thought Grant and I were players. We got to share a bed! Had pashed a Maori that night as well- the natives love the Mustard.
Dead or alive, who are the 3 people you would most like to have dinner with? Abe Lincoln, Lionel Skeggins and Thelma Luxton.
Which Taranaki star would make the best Mustardo? Kolyn Tai.
What is your record funnel amount in a day on Mustard Terrace? I'm not much of a funneler but i may have suckled from Jolene thrice or so in a day.

Player Profile: Jamie Watkins

Full name: Jamie Watkins
Birth date: 24-10 -1976
What is your marital status? Engaged
Role in the Taranaki team? Rabid Dogg
Taranaki debut? December 1994
What song playing from Mustard Terrace gets you up the most in the heat of battle? Let Me Entertain You.
What is your beverage of choice? Sandy Hunters
Who was your Hero while you were at school? John Stockton
What is your greatest achievement in cricket? Putting on 103 for the last wicket with Cruiky in the Hawke Cup winning challenge v Hamilton ( 10-0 Cruiky)
What is your greatest achievement outside of cricket? Climbing Mount Taranaki, Beating Speegs and Thommo at every skill and trivia challenge
Most memorable game you have been involved in? Chasing 156 off 14 overs 2nd innings in must win outright v Wairarapa at Puke Park to get HC Challenge.
What is your greatest Mustard moment? The naked terrace race
Dead or alive, who are the 3 people you would most like to have dinner with? Shane Warne, Michael Jordan, Reese Witherspoon.
Which Mustardo would you have replace you in the team? Grant ‘Hatrick’ McLean.
Which Taranaki star should would make the best Mustardo? Greg Paynter.
What would be your dream job if you were not a cricketing star? Channel 9 NRL commentator for all Rabbitohs games.
What is your signature Century/Hat-Trick celebratory Move or Dance? Feed The Bird with a COME AAAAANNNN
What goes with hotdogs and sauce? Masterfoods Honey Mustard.

Mustard goes to the World

There is nothing better than receiving photos like those below.

Mustard Walshy (Champion Naked Terrace Climber) had these photos to show the Mustard community. His comment to share: "It's amazing what you can find in an MCG changing room."

You dog!!

May this be a great precedent for all other Mustardos. The word goes Global.

FYI

Goody was not arrested.

What a hold out! He got our hopes up after voting for himself so many times. Maybe if Kol was picked he could have been the one to hit the headlines. Lets push for a home town arrest.

NAPIER- who cares?!

It has taken a week for the scroll to report on the weekend that was in Napier. The Naki boys were comprehensively beaten- good work getting that one out of the system before the challenges begin.

The Chapple Cup would have been a nice addition to the silverware but the Hawkes Bay boys will only ever be good for polishing the Holy Grail that will stay beneath the Mountain... that is if they were ever close enough to touch it, which they will never be.

Spud ate way too many party pills and chewed his face off. Aids will remain as a redundant funnel to join the other Mustard funnels that have come and gone. RIP Jolene. Lucky Spud has his best mate and Bro Gadget to look after him.

Landy owes Ali 50 boners after forgetting his pin at the bar. Always a good trick that one. "Just charge it to the room".

Grunta was crowned Taranaki/Mustardo leg wrestling champion- to add to other titles of similar achievement. Although one of the token soon-to-be English Mustardos came him a good crack in the bar.

Either Ali or Broady called the fire department but when the truck arrived between them on the couch there was no fire in sight. Some things are better left not spoken about. Struth.

And so we move towards the big one! Challenge time. Lets get among and really get in behind the boys. Watch this space for build up this week.

We're all still fools for the Holy Grail!!!

Sandwich Lady

I know there were a lot of Mustardos and Mustardo friends who watched the Cricket Company closely looking for our big debut on National Television. It was not to be. Please- do not bag the sandwich lady. What a star of Pukekura Park she is. Packing your chilli for the day is what Puke is all about so kudos to her. Instead, we request that you look forward to the possibility of a piece individually dedicated to the Mustardos and the Hawke Cup. Talks have begun with Mr Alderson and he is very interested in coming back for a Hawke Cup story. Great news!! So cross the fingers and in the mean time, get stuck into the preparations for securing the Chappel Cup for the mighty Naki! C'MON!

Step Inside... Walk This Way...

On the back of the entire Hawera population voting for him... Goody has recieved the most votes for having the next Mustard Banner made about him. Congratulations. The artistic brains trust will go to work and come Chapple Cup Final time we should have a goodie.... for Goody.
Hope you all have got an eye on the Cricket Company- a piece on the Mighty Puke Park screening soon may or may not include a couple of iconic Mustardos. Get amongst.

Mustardo Profile: Grant Maclean

Birth date: 02/08/86
When did you become a Mustardo? Approxamately 7pm on 4th February 2006
Who is your favourite Taranaki player? The demon in the gully - Leithal Johnston
What is your role in the Mustardos? Musical mustard - responsible for the whistle and formerly the harmonica. Coming soon, the spoons. Cooking Mustard - responsible for the BBQ. Streaking Mustard - responsible for after match entertainment.
What is your favourite Mustard track? C is for cruiky and our new song boom boom boom let me here you say mustard.
What is your beverage of choice? A bourbon with a dash of coke.
Who was your Hero while you were at school? Hard one, can't remember back that far but i'd go for someone like Brian Lara
What is your greatest Mustard moment? I think for the Mustardos as a whole our greatest moment is getting those covers off in hamilton to get those two wickets late on day two. But my personal greatest moment is falling down three terraces at Puke Park and finishing my fall on Mustard Terrace.
Dead or alive, who are the 3 people you would most like to have dinner with? Winston Churchill- great man, Adam Sandler - Funny Man, Reese Witherspoon - Good Looks.
Which Taranaki star would make the best Mustardo? Goody- so we can pour sugar on him.
What is your record funnel amount in a day on Mustard Terrace? 14 in Hamilton on the saturday of our victorious weekend.

Player Profile: Leith Johnston

Full name: Leith Johnston
Birth date: 10/2/79
What is your marital status? In a relationship
Role in the Taranaki team? Allrounder
Taranaki debut? 2002
What song playing from Mustard Terrace gets you up the most in the heat of battle? Baywatch Theme
What is your beverage of choice? Jack or Jim
Who was your Hero while you were at school? Gary Sobers
What is your greatest achievement in cricket? Winning the Hawke Cup
What is your greatest achievement outside of cricket? Being Donny Shelver’s Best Man
Most memorable game you have been involved in? Taranaki vs Nelson. Winning first innings on the last ball of the 2nd day
What is your greatest Mustard moment? The Mustard Welcome in Marsterton 2006-2007
Dead or alive, who are the 3 people you would most like to have dinner with? Meg Ryan, Steven King, Martin Luther King
Which Mustardo would you have replace you in the team? Grunta
Which Taranaki star would make the best Mustardo? Broady
What would be your dream job if you were not a cricketing star? Own a sporting complex in a country of poverty
What is your signature Century/Hat-Trick celebratory Move or Dance? Hold the Taranaki Crest and punch the air
How do you run with such a massive ant-eater in your pants? (From the Parr-Parr dog!) With great difficulty!
What goes with hotdogs and sauce? MUSTARD

Behind The Scenes Footage

Our Mustard film producer has been working overtime to bring you more footage of the Mustardos in action. You've seen the Rabid and Timmy Boy in action on the field, now get a taste for what it is like sitting amongst the Mustardos!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yLLxNfEOawc

Chronic Chronicle

Finally a Newspaper has recognised the quality of support provided by the Mighty Mustardos. The Wanganui Chronicle has not only provided a Page 2 wrap of the weekend activities but also a sweet colour photo, Nolene and all! Hopefully we will see the Daily News in full swing come Hawke Cup Challenge time back at ze Park.

Wanganui gets painted Mustard

It was a Splendid Weekend in Wanganui with the Naki boys taking a step closer to the winning of the Chappel Cup- and the Mustardos in full form. Spirit Saturday was a blast- she packed a good punch. $6 an hour for a Taxi Van and Josh is driving. Ten bucks for a pash and a nude Grunta. Cheers to Rory- you dog! Tamara Lodge up your arse.
Check out the first of a number of Mustard videos that will be gracing this wesbtie very soon.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=fO_K-XND83Y
Keep spreading the word and may the glory of Mustard be with you all this Christmas.
WHAT A CATCH!!!

Mustardo Profile: Matthew Ander

Birth date: 09/06/87
When did you become a Mustardo? The first mustard trip to Hamilton...the "originals"
Who is your favourite Taranaki player? Hmmm thats a toughy - Crucky because he is a man whore
What is your role in the Mustardos? The responsible mustardo - have to make sure everyone is behaving and I usually draw the short straw and have to sober drive, thanks mustards!!
What is your favourite Mustard track? Perfect day. It's always a perfect day being a mustard!What act from a player on the field gets you up the most in the heat of battle? When ever a Naki player acknowledges the mustards...that usually gets the boys fired up!
What is your beverage of choice? A nice glass of champagne usually goes down well in the morning but I wouldn’t go past a cold beer!
Who was your Hero while you were at school? Since I’m a soccer player at heart I would have to say David Beckham cause he scored a goal from halfway...Amazing!!
What is your greatest Mustard moment? I would say the Naki team winning the Hawke cup but unfortunately i wasn't there when they did! For the times I have been there, I would definitely have to say anytime Grunter has his top off drinking bourbon straight from the bottle and singing, I haven’t experienced the naked fat mustard yet but I’m sure my time will come soon enough!
Dead or alive, who are the 3 people you would most like to have dinner with? Sophie from shortland street...shes a babe. Becks cause he is the man! Richard hadlee cause I wana ask him how to bowl straight.
Which Taranaki star would make the best Mustardo? Whoppa cause he loves the piss!
What is your record funnel amount in a day on Mustard Terrace? Can't remember this one...I prefer the shotguns after every run scored, they go down a treat!

Player Profile: David Good

Birth date: 10/02/1983
What is your marital status? In a relationship.
Role in the Taranaki team? Off spinner
When did you make your Taranaki debut? 2000
What song playing from Mustard Terrace gets you up the most in the heat of battle? Pour some sugar on me (of course)
What is your beverage of choice? Tui or Mustard.
Who was your Hero while you were at school? Chris Cairns
What is your greatest achievement in cricket? Winning the Hawke Cup!
What is your greatest achievement outside of cricket? Beating Whoppa every time on the PS2. Go the Maroons!
Most memorable game you have been involved in? Nelson in 2002. We needed 2 wickets in the final over and got them.
What is your greatest Mustard moment? Grunta lying in his spew and still sledging Hamilton.
Dead or alive, who are the 3 people you would most like to have dinner with? Slash from Guns ‘n Roses, Warney and Michael Jackson.
Which Mustardo would you have replace you in the team? Chief Mustardo.
Which Taranaki star should would make the best Mustardo? Keith (Noodles) Muller.
What would be your dream job if you were not a cricketing star? Some high rolling bookie.
What is your signature Century/Hat-Trick celebratory Move or Dance? The harness whip.

Squad Named

The Taranaki Squad has been named for the 2007-2008 season.

It is as follows: Matthew Broadmore (captain), Travis Stewart, Leith Johnston, Joe Dravitzki, Kolyn Tai, David Good, Tim Weston, Greg Paynter, Rob McLeod, Jamie Watkins, Nick Taylor, Ryan Fleming, Daniel Bolstad, Keith Muller, Andrew Mason, Peter Ingram and Glen Reynolds.

A mixture of old favourites with a sprinkle of new faces. Hope the newbies have their schweet walk-out songs ready to pass onto the Mustard DJ.

Taranaki Sports Awards Success

A big Congratulations to the winners from Taranaki Cricket

at the annual Tarnaki Sports Awards dinner.

Coach of the Year: Ali Jordan

Sportswoman of the Year: Aimee Mason

Team of the Year : Yarrows Taranaki Mens Cricket Team

Also Congratulations to Peter Ingram, a Mustardo hero, for his nomination

for Sportsman of the Year.

A fine year capped off with some deserving nominees and awards. Where is the category for best Taranaki support crew?!

Premauture???

It seems the mustardos got a little premature in the countdown to mustard season with the clock indicating the first mustard day was this weekend. But alas it is not. Poor old Hamilton were a bit premature also and scheduled a pre-season game for this weekend before they lost the coveted Hawke Cup to the Mighty Taranaki. However, sour grapes maybe, this game has been removed from the schedule so sadly we will wait. So hopefully the word gets out before the huge crowd arrives at Pukekura Park to dissapointment and no game. Keep an eye on the countdown because we are again counting down to start of season Taranaki vs Manawatu in three days of cricketing bonanza!!!!

BABE ALERT

Word has it that Taranaki's favourite news journalist, Toni Street, is seeking a meeting with the Mustardos at Pukekura Park this season- along with the TVNZ crew.

Such an event would be a great occasion and a perfect way to showcase cricket at a provincial level, the Hawke Cup holding Taranaki team, the majestic Pukekura Park, as well as the MIGHTY Mustardos live in action.

Check out Toni's pic- the face behind the voice- and make sure you vote on our latest poll!

Hairiest Mustardo

They are both Gorilla like but it seems that Nick was subject to more sperm

in the womb than Matthew was!

Which begs the question... does the older brother have the wood over the younger brother

in funnel racing as well?! Only time will tell.

Mustardo Profile: Matthew Landrigan

Birth date: 07-08-1987
When did you become a Mustardo? 2006 trip to challenge Hamilton for the Hawke Cup.
Who is your favourite Taranaki player? Jamie Whopping Rabid Dogg Watkins (without him mustard would not be what it is).
Role in the Mustardos? Founding member.
What is your favourite Mustard track? I guess that’s why they call it the blues.
What act from a player on the field gets you up the most in the heat of battle? Any sort of salute from the field to the mustard whether it be while batting or fielding.
What is your beverage of choice? Beer (with the odd mouthful of masterfoods mustard).
Who was your Hero while you were at school? Jeff Wilson.
What is your greatest Mustard moment? Mustard Grants never ending song while lying in his own spew on 1st ever Mustard trip challenging Hamilton for the holy grail---a great debut.
Dead or alive, who are the 3 people you would most like to have dinner with? Will Farrel, Marc Ellis and Rhys Darby.
Which Taranaki star would make the best Mustardo? Goody.
What is your record funnel amount in a day on Mustard Terrace? 1
What goes with hotdogs and sauce? Mustard!!!

Player Profile: Matthew Broadmore

Birth date: 28/09/77
What is your marital status? Married.
Role in the Taranaki team? Opening Bat / Captain
What song playing from Mustard Terrace gets you up the most in the heat of battle? C if for Cruiky.
What is your beverage of choice? Cafferys Irish Ale or Guiness.
Who was your Hero while you were at school? Primary School it was Ravishin Rick Rude from the WWF. High School it was Michael Slater.
What is your greatest achievement in cricket? Winning the Sussex Cup at Hover in 1996 and winning the Hawke Cup in 2007.
What is your greatest achievement outside of cricket? I won pass the parcel at the Mangorei School Christmas Party sometime in the eighties.
Most memorable game you have been involved in? 1997 Two day Final.
What is your greatest Mustard moment? Anytime Grunta dances nude.
Dead or alive, who are the 3 people you would most like to have dinner with? Bill Clinton, Ewan McGregor and Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Which Mustardo would you have replace you in the team? Mustardo Joe Dravitzki.
Which Taranaki star should would make the best Mustardo? Andrew Mason.
What would be your dream job if you were not a cricketing star? Pro Skiier.
What is your signature Century/Hat-Trick celebratory Move or Dance? Gorilla grabbing a banana.

The Answer is With You!

Poll results are in and the newest mustard track you most want to hear the most is... With or Without You. This really comes as no surprise. It will be a great addition.

Jolene was a close second and will be the new funnel song- if only we can locate that babe.

Get your vocals ready lads! Practice will take place in Mad Mums.